February 2012
7 posts
5 tags
January 2012
4 posts
PIZZA SHAME SPIRAL
To the tune of “Careless Whisper:”
I’m never gonna eat pizza again this guilty belly is full of pizza and though it’s easier to pretend I ate too much pizza 3 a.m. and now I want to dieeeeeee
And also: Pythagorean Theorem
me: So I'm going to write up today as National Pie Day but let's def. do the other National Pi Day on 3.14
winona.rose: YES my hipster friends and I celebrate that one with pizza, pie, and math charades
me: MATH CHARADES!
winona.rose: yes, it's the best! my favorites were Schrodinger's Cat and "Show Your Work"
Perving.
Amelia: I just had a shameful moment at Subway. I found myself lusting after the high school skater boy ahead of me in line.
Julie: Why is that shameful? That's every day of my life.
Amelia: He was, like, 16.
Julie: Should i feel shame for that? I'm sorry.
December 2011
1 post
That Guy Died? I LOVED HIM IN THAT THING!
@BoobsRadley and I are big fans of THIS GUY’S work. Because you know when you’re watching WALKER, TEXAS RANGER and you’re like, I wonder what anonymous range hand thug did before he was in this! He’s so talented:
Slomins Shield Commercial, HOME INVADER NUMBER ONE
Homophobic Salad Bar Customer #2, “Designing Women”
Roadhouse bar customer/drifer...
October 2011
3 posts
nicole: i have graduated in my dating life to the "why hasn't he texted me back" stage, btw. It's great!
me: omg, i live there. i will build you a cottage on the back of my houseboat
September 2011
1 post
August 2011
3 posts
WatchVenn Diagram Things I Love. Dance tracks, pussy popping = this song.
me: like, i don't have any tattoos but i would totally get a tube tattoo
bitner: HAHAH
around your ankle?
a big black band?
me: nah man, on my bicep
in neon green
and it would have a string that would link to a floating cooler on myother bicep
bitner: daaammn. i'd pay $40 to see that
if you start a kickstarter thing for it, i'm committing $40 right now
me: dog, you are tempting a bitch like craze right now
bitner: just saying. $40.
the offer stands for the next 60 days.
i'll be here
me: thanks i'm going to post that on facebook
and see who else might be interested in supporting this horrible idea.
bitner: you're gonna have a tattoo in like 7 hours
July 2011
5 posts
On Williamsburg:
Me: i think about the genetic impossibility of all of these little fawn girls and their cut offs and their long shiny hair
all concentrated in this one space
they're like colts
that have no idea about all the roofies and bad sex a-coming for them
Richard: yep!
Breaking News Guys, WOMEN BE WEARING DRESSES!
Fresh off their discovery that people breathe air and women enjoy starring at Ryan Gosling’s abs, the New York Times style section has apparently uncovered that women love to wear dresses when it’s “soupy” out. In fact! They love dresses so much! They like, wear them all the time! The Times interviewed dozens of cutting edge females who confessed to not putting on pants during the warm summer...
Dear Tao Lin
you’re obvs flexing your Machiavellian muscles! Good for you! Why not use it for something really terrible, instead of Times trend pieces?
June 2011
9 posts
1 tag
May 2011
7 posts
April 2011
5 posts
erica: Julie!
Jesse's band is interviewing the Insane Clown Possee on Sunday\
like for an article or something
what should they ask
me: WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAA
what do their kids think when they put the makeup on
erica: ah
waity
they they have kids?
me:
oh like a million kids
seriously
one of j's kids has a record deal
uh, FAVORITE FLAVOR OF FAYGO
that is a very important question
favorite faygo cocktail
me: for shaggy 2 dope: what's it like being the sexy juggalo
how high were you guys when you came up with this whole thing?
no really, how high?
WatchFUNNIEST MINUTE OF FOOD TALK OF MY LIFE
natalie:
patience is a hard one to learn man.
dang
i want everything now too
but there's a secret
you have to tell yourself and the universe that you do not want or need a thing
me:
right
natalie:
and you will get EVERYTHING
me:
i give the universe mixed messages
i give myself mixed messages
natalie:
yes you have to be focused.
me:
i'm like a teenage boy on prom night that way
March 2011
16 posts
“hey don’t be so harsh
he just wants to be whatever the super shallow...”
ON FASHIONS
“god they all kind of look like they went shopping at a merry go round they unearthed in la brea or something”
